A Big Whoops!
This is a transcript of a radio conversation in October, 1995 between
US and Canadian authorities off the east coast of Newfoundland :
Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a
collision.
Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision.
Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert
YOUR course.
Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.
Americans: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP
IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY 3 DESTROYERS,
3 CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR
COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, THAT'S 1 - 5 DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER-MEASURES
WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.
Canadians This is a lighthouse. Your call
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A Tale From The Northland
A C-141 Starlifter had been delayed for take-off for well over an hour at
Thule Air Force Base, Greenland, because
it's sewage container had not been pumped out.
An Airman Basic meandered up to the aircraft with the containment pump,
fiddles around for a while, then gets ready to leave.
The young Captain, who was the aircraft commander confronted the Airman,
and stated, "You have caused me to be 2- hours late for my take-off.
I'll see that you are not only reprimanded, but punished as well!"
The young Airman smiled and said, "Sir, with all due respect, I have
no stripes, I'm stationed at Thule, Greenland, it's 20
degrees below zero, and I'm pumping shit from aircraft. Just what kind
of punishment did you have in mind?"
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Airplanes - vs - Women
- An airplane can kill you quickly; a woman takes her time.
- Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.
- An airplane does not get mad if you 'touch and go'.
- An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection.
- Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
- Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.
- You can fly an airplane any time of the month.
- Airplanes don't come with in-laws.
- Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.
- Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you have flown.
- When flying, you and your airplane both arrive at the same time.
- Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes,
or if you buy airplane magazines.
- It's OK to use tie-downs on your airplane.
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