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Float Like A Butterfly
Many years ago, when the great fighter Muhammad Ali was in his prime,
he was seated in the first class section of an airliner.
After having made several announcements and as the aircraft
was preparing to depart the gate, the flight attendant noticed
that Ali's seat belt was still not fastened. She leaned over and said,
"We're departing now, please fasten your seat belt."
Ali glanced up and said, "Superman don't need no seat belt."
The flight attendant coolly replied, "Superman don't need no airplane."
Ali fastened his belt.
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A Few Control Tower Stories
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Pilot:
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Give me a rough timecheck
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Tower:
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It's Tuesday Sir!
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Tower:
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Have you got enough fuel or not?
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Pilot:
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Yes.
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Tower:
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Yes what?
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Pilot:
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Yes SIR!
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Pilot:
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Bratislava tower, this is Oscar Oscar Kilo established ILS16
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Tower:
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Oscar Oscar Kilo, Guten Tag, cleared to land 16, wind calm – and by the way this is Wien tower .
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Pilot:
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(pauses) Bratislava tower, Oscar Oscar Kilo, passed the outer marker.
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Tower:
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Oscar Oscar Kilo roger, and once more – you are approaching Vienna.
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Pilot: |
(pauses) Confirm, this is NOT Bratislava?
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Tower: |
You can believe me, this is Vienna.
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Pilot: |
(pauses) But why? We want to go to Bratislava, not Vienna.
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Tower: |
Oscar Oscar Kilo, roger. Discontinue approach.
Turn left 030 and climb to 5000 feet, vectors to Bratislava.
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Tower: |
Phantom formation crossing control zone without clearance, state your callsign
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Pilot: |
I'm not silly!
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Tower: |
Hawk 20, is this the same aircraft declaring an emergency about two hours ago?
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Pilot: |
Negative Sir, it’s only the same pilot.
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Tower: |
Delta Zulu Romeo, turn right now and report your heading.
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Pilot: |
Wilco. 341, 342, 343, 344, 345............
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Tower: |
You have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles.
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Pilot: |
Give us another hint, we have digital watches.
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Tower: |
Mission 123, do you have problems?
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Pilot: |
I think I just lost my compass.
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Tower: |
Judging the way you are flying, you must have lost the whole instrument panel.
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Tower: |
D-EXXX please report person on board.
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Pilot: |
2 pax and 1 dog.
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Tower: |
(After Cessna finally bounced to a stop) Assume the Pilot in Command was the dog!
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Pilot: |
Good Morning Frankfurt Ground, KLM 242 request start up and push back please.
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Tower: |
KLM 242, expect start up in 2 hours.
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Pilot: |
Please confirm – 2 hours delay.
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Tower: |
Affirmative.
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Pilot: |
In that case, cancel the Good Morning.
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